Regarding its relation to episodic memory, I think of grief as a compound sense of loss of both past and future episodic memories. The ability to emulate prospective sentiments ("I can see myself growing old with you") may create an extra layer of loss.
But I also, perhaps naively, take some comfort in the fact that even those "forward memories" which did not come to pass were nevertheless experienced in a way that might as well have been real. If we can experience loss over some imagined future, then in some small way, we always had a piece of it, maybe even one of the more important pieces.
How healthy and wise "holding on" and "how tightly" would be, of course, unique to the person, the relationship and the loss. For what it's worth, I wish comfort to those experiencing grief or loss in any capacity.
the triune brain theory is not a 'somewhat oversimplified model', but one that we've known for decades now that it's just plain wrong. by the 1990s it was totally rejected as it was an explanation based on visual inspection to lend some credence to plato's conception of our minds. (bruh.) it's one of the zombie ideas that's just not correct in any way resembling its original articulation. it's not a useful heuristic, it's a thoroughly debunked theory that never had any serious empirical motivation. any understanding people think they gain from it is illusory and not supported by empirical evidence. please stop spreading this theory.
Interesting! Yes, some of these points are made in e.g. the above linked piece but I will look through this when I have a moment and slightly better internet and adjust.
the point is that it’s unlikely things actually evolved that way, not that the brain isn’t remapping, and also that the various “layers” of the brain physically are collaborating more than that word would suggest
Thank you for this. We lost my mum on 7th Jan 2015 and while my siblings and I have - I think - grieved in a relatively healthy, regular way our dad has struggled deeply. About 18months into the grieving period his doctor suggested grief therapy but my dad - being very much a man of his time (b. 1948) - was too cynical, didn’t believe the ‘kid therapist’ could possibly understand what him & my mum had and so how could they support.
The toll it took on him has been extreme - physically as well as mentally - and as of the beginning of this year he’s in residential care with mild dementia and various other cognitive issues. Despite it being almost a decade he is still triggered by songs, films, memories to the point of immediately bursting into tears (something otherwise very out of character). My siblings and I have prompted him - clumsily I’m sure - on the importance of moving on, forming new memories with grandkids etc but his answers read like a confirmation of what you’re describing here; he explicitly doesn’t want an internal, mental landscape in which my mum isn’t central (as she was since they were 15), he gets quite hostile when people ask him the ‘remember‘ or ‘recall’ something because that’s past tense…
His cognitive state is such that I don’t think he’d be able to follow or benefit from this but I know my siblings and I will so thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of the holiday period, Liam.
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm sorry for your loss and I'm also sorry to hear your dad is having such a hard time. I hope you can find some joy this holiday season. And so glad this is helpful.
Regarding its relation to episodic memory, I think of grief as a compound sense of loss of both past and future episodic memories. The ability to emulate prospective sentiments ("I can see myself growing old with you") may create an extra layer of loss.
But I also, perhaps naively, take some comfort in the fact that even those "forward memories" which did not come to pass were nevertheless experienced in a way that might as well have been real. If we can experience loss over some imagined future, then in some small way, we always had a piece of it, maybe even one of the more important pieces.
How healthy and wise "holding on" and "how tightly" would be, of course, unique to the person, the relationship and the loss. For what it's worth, I wish comfort to those experiencing grief or loss in any capacity.
the triune brain theory is not a 'somewhat oversimplified model', but one that we've known for decades now that it's just plain wrong. by the 1990s it was totally rejected as it was an explanation based on visual inspection to lend some credence to plato's conception of our minds. (bruh.) it's one of the zombie ideas that's just not correct in any way resembling its original articulation. it's not a useful heuristic, it's a thoroughly debunked theory that never had any serious empirical motivation. any understanding people think they gain from it is illusory and not supported by empirical evidence. please stop spreading this theory.
[1] https://www.frontiersin.org/journals/psychiatry/articles/10.3389/fpsyt.2022.802606/full
[2] https://journals.sagepub.com/doi/10.1177/0963721420917687
[3] principles of neural design | peter sterling, simon laughlin
[4] the entangled brain: how perception, cognition and emotion are woven together | luiz pessoa
[5] the idea of the brain | matthew cobb
[6] seven and a half lessons about the brain (chapter 2), how emotions are made | lisa feldman barrett
Interesting! Yes, some of these points are made in e.g. the above linked piece but I will look through this when I have a moment and slightly better internet and adjust.
The man (I assume) debunks. But how do you debunk a poem?
the point is that it’s unlikely things actually evolved that way, not that the brain isn’t remapping, and also that the various “layers” of the brain physically are collaborating more than that word would suggest
Thank you for this. We lost my mum on 7th Jan 2015 and while my siblings and I have - I think - grieved in a relatively healthy, regular way our dad has struggled deeply. About 18months into the grieving period his doctor suggested grief therapy but my dad - being very much a man of his time (b. 1948) - was too cynical, didn’t believe the ‘kid therapist’ could possibly understand what him & my mum had and so how could they support.
The toll it took on him has been extreme - physically as well as mentally - and as of the beginning of this year he’s in residential care with mild dementia and various other cognitive issues. Despite it being almost a decade he is still triggered by songs, films, memories to the point of immediately bursting into tears (something otherwise very out of character). My siblings and I have prompted him - clumsily I’m sure - on the importance of moving on, forming new memories with grandkids etc but his answers read like a confirmation of what you’re describing here; he explicitly doesn’t want an internal, mental landscape in which my mum isn’t central (as she was since they were 15), he gets quite hostile when people ask him the ‘remember‘ or ‘recall’ something because that’s past tense…
His cognitive state is such that I don’t think he’d be able to follow or benefit from this but I know my siblings and I will so thank you very much. Enjoy the rest of the holiday period, Liam.
Thank you so much for sharing! I'm sorry for your loss and I'm also sorry to hear your dad is having such a hard time. I hope you can find some joy this holiday season. And so glad this is helpful.